Fast Food, Fast Love
I’m back in India again – in chilly Pune this time, which is only about 16 degrees! Pretty surprising since it should be summer by now so obviously, I was caught unprepared again. Pune is a nice scenic 3 hour drive from Mumbai, passing thru the reddest sun rising above the mountains (we left Mumbai at 6am).I just had my 1st veggie burger tonight at McDonald’s – I think this is the only country in the world where McDonald’s has that customized a menu. It’s definitely the only one without a beef burger! When they 1st came out, everyone boycotted since cows are sacred in India, until they just had to take it off the menu. They seem to have replaced it with other weird items – there’s McAloo Tikki, Paneer Salsa wrap, Crispy Chinese… Everything but the Big Mac or Quarter Pounder. About the only thing I recognized was Fries and Coke.
Veggie burgers are just the tip of the iceberg. Not that bad actually – it’s a hodgepodge of peas, carrots, cabbage, lettuce, potatoes… I think I tasted some beans and onions, but I’m not sure. I know it sounds gross but mixed together, it tastes a little like Gerber baby food, if you like that kind of thing.
Looks pretty innocent, doesn't it? Ha.
Anyway, Mickey D’s seems to be stimulating intellectual conversations and debates lately. Tonight’s topic wasn’t religious freedom of attire in schools but whether true love can be found among 2 people who choose to spend the rest of their life together, without being in love at the time the decision is made. In other words, an arranged marriage, which is still prevalent in India today and surprisingly, even among the educated and upper-class. And you can’t get more educated and upper-class than working for P&G.
It’s so interesting that despite how modern their culture has become, arranged marriages are still pretty much the norm. Dilen, the India ABM, has a girlfriend right now but is completely open to the idea of being “arranged” for marriage if things don’t work out. Inder, my CMK, just got married the arranged way 2 months ago. And while Pratima’s is a love marriage, she finds nothing wrong with being arranged had things turned out differently.
All of this is a little shocking – I can’t imagine choosing to spend the rest of my life with someone I barely know. Inder argues that you don’t “barely” know them, you actually go on about 3-4 dates. Uh…. Ok, right. He contends that the more time you spend wondering if that person is the one, the more unsure you become. Hm… good point #1.
What about physical attraction you might ask? Dilen has seen some 3 dozen women by his count. And he automatically cancels those unattractive women from his list. I guess it’s one way to speed-date, except your family is there watching her entire family, your “dates and fortunes” have been aligned and marriage is just a few dates away.
Once you get over the initial shock about how blasé they seem to be about something so important and life-changing, there’s actually a little something-something from that that we can all learn. They may jump into marriage, but they do it with eyes wide open. They have no expectations of the other person, neither of how great they are (which ultimately leads to disappointment as no one is perfect) nor of how many things the other has to change – they simply don’t know who they’re marrying!
So they dive right in, fully expecting only 2 things – compromise and commitment. I kinda like you even if I don’t know you yet but since I have to spend the rest of my life with you, we’ll both have to adjust to each other along the way. Now how many people can say they entered their marriage knowing exactly what they were getting into?
And surprisingly, love develops, babies get made and marriages last. Sigh... how much more romantic can it get?
I couldn't ever do it their way but maybe if people who got married learned a little something of Indian love, there might be fewer divorces in the world.
posted by moan @ 2:04 AM
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