Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Lost

Freedom of choice is an oxymoron. I've never been more paralyzed by the amount of choices that I have than right now. Too many choices, a new one everyday - and it only serves to make me think, "what's behind door #2?"

I've been in Singapore for 2.5 years, and I've always thought I am the same person I was when I left Manila. But only lately, I realize that the change is not just having more money or longer hair.

Being here has allowed me to have more control over my life than I ever dreamed was possible. It's funny because I'm not bragging when I say that what I want to happen, will. I want to work in another country, done. I want to go to Europe on a whim, done. I want to go to Bangkok for the weekend, done. I want a new life, new friends, new hobbies, done.

It's a little scary to think about, for sure. Hard not to let it get to your head. My mom has always said, that women who are too good, too smart, too successful - well, no man wants them. I don't know if it's necessarily that, or it's just the number of choices available... not talking about having other men, just other choices beyond relationships - travel, work, friends, fun, etc.

So it's changed me in more ways than I thought it would. In college, all I wanted to be was a housewife / soccer mom. And a year ago, I upgraded that to expat housewife / soccer mom. But now, I can't even imagine having kids yet or just staying at home with the kids. Sigh I tell you, it's because of this whole dang choice thing.

Singapore has allowed so many things to happen, but I honestly think I would have been much happier never having come over. Life was so much simpler, easier and all-around happier not knowing the possibilities that were out there. Just thinking that there was 1 road in my life - work in Manila, get married in Manila, have kids in Manila - made it an obvious choice and one I was happy to make.

Where does that leave me now? Halfway between Singapore and Manila, and completely lost.

posted by moan @ 11:16 AM 3 Comments

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Positively Giddy

I can't stop smiling! God must really love me this week. Music to my ears (or my eyes as I read this through email...):

We have a successful recovery and should be getting back all your data.

Joy, joy... I get back all my files!!!!!!!!! This day just can't get any better. I've hugged almost everyone in my office, and I think I just gave my ABMs a raise.

posted by moan @ 3:55 PM 1 Comments

Dean, David and D

Yey yey!! Dean's letting me go to Europe (thanks babe :) after all my canoodling, pleading, begging, nagging and all-around making kulit!!!

Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait... I'm so excited I haven't been able to sleep straight for the past few days, nor work, nor carry on a decent conversation without the images of baguettes, French mimes in berets, gondolas and a naked David (hm... he's just a statue!) dancing in my head.


Better start practicing my French (like I know how). Melissa says she took lessons, but they may just stone us out of Paris. Worst case, I can start singing 'Angelina' - though I don't know how that will help us get around. And apparently the one French line I know from 'Lady Marmalade' will seriously get me in trouble...

Argh. How am I going to last another 3 weeks???

Bangkok should help... retail therapy always distracts me. Can't imagine I'll be hanging out with D and her folks (A-mah included) this weekend in Pat Pong. That's a funny image.

posted by moan @ 10:53 AM 2 Comments

Monday, March 21, 2005

The green-eyed monster

I hate B. Back from a global mtg in Athens and a week-long holiday in Rome. Comes back shouting 'Ciao Bella' to everyone and showing off his tan. Gr.

And is it just me, or do I hate everyone who has a nifty little new laptop?

posted by moan @ 6:08 PM 1 Comments

Sunday, March 20, 2005

How can I be fat?

I am officially in contention for P&G Fitness Idol, having signed up today at the gym. I seriously don't know what possessed me, seeing as how I've never stepped into a gym my entire life. I don't even exercise (unless shopping counts).

So they poked me and pinched me and made me do all this fitness stuff. Only for me to find out that not only am I underweight (17 BMI - I know all the terms na), I also have 23% body fat (11kgs!!) - which is normal except for the fact that I'm so skinny. I guess that's why all my body parts seem so jiggly...

So now the trainer wants me to eat even more, and gain another 10kgs. Fat chance of that happening, since I've kept my weight for the last decade! It's funny because I eat like a pig, and all carbs at that!

Plus, I failed all my tests, except for stamina and endurance. I maybe did 13 sit-ups (with cheating) in 1 minute - which is really dismal. And I barely managed 4 push-ups... So my strength is way way way below normal.

Groan... What did I just sign up for?? I am so unfit, it's not funny.

P.S. My nephew's name is Heinrich Stephen Cullen. I hope no one calls him Heiny while he's growing up...

posted by moan @ 1:55 PM 1 Comments

Friday, March 18, 2005

Sweet Tart Sweetheart

I took this personality test I saw in my sister's blog because obviously, I had a little too much time this morning and I was bored to work. So I decided to see what kind of candy I might be, and ta-dah... I'm a SWEET TART!
I'm a SWEET TART!
I don't even have a clue what kind of candy that is. But apparently, I am...

"A little bit nice, a little bit naughty. I'm kind, but I show people who's boss around here. Sweet."

Hm... makes me sound like a dominatrix.

posted by moan @ 10:53 AM 0 Comments

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Saving China

My youngest sister has a boyfriend... though I don't think she will appreciate my broadcasting this on my blog. After countless texts and non-date dates, her crush has finally declared his intentions (which at high school, simply means 'I like you').

It feels weird that she's getting older, and obviously so. Being 10 years younger, she will always be a kid to me. After she told me super kilig-geddly (is there such a word?), my first thought was... 'ALREADY???' Even now, I am resisting the urge to be over-protective and squash what's-his-face like a bug.

Sigh... why does she have to grow up? For that matter, why do we all have to grow up? It's no fun facing money problems, heart-break, long-distance relationships, travel bugs and morality issues.

Wouldn't it be so nice to just be stuck forever in that moment when you discover the one you like, likes you back?

posted by moan @ 8:21 PM 2 Comments

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Fitness Idol

I must work for the nerdiest company in the world.

The latest gimmick is 'Fitness Idol Challenge' where we're issued these pedometer thingies that are supposed to measure the # of steps walked and # of aerobic steps taken. Then we have to record this stuff down along with # of minutes exercised, hours slept, # of glasses of water drank, etc etc, honesty-system every day.

They give us nutrition consultations, smart food guides, medical check-ups... And we even get incentives if we 'win' - SK2, vacation packages... I suppose they want to keep us fit enough not to die with all the stress and work they pile on.

posted by moan @ 3:37 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Ode to my laptop

You know how the perils of a job can be so obvious for some professions? Like potentially being gunned down by a bank robber (security guard), eaten by a lion (zookeeper, veterinarian, circus trainer) or left out perpetually floating in space (astronaut)?

I used to think that apart from being fired if my business didn't do too well, I pretty much had it good. I mean, what's the worst that could happen by selling detergent??

Unfortunately, I had to find out the hard way when, on the way to the airport last Sunday - I smelled detergent all around the car. Turns out, the detergent sample I had put in my bag leaked all over my laptop!!! Sacre d'bleu. Detergent all over my motherboard, screen and HARD DRIVE!!!

So now I have no laptop, no files, no pictures... They gave me a clunker of a replacement laptop that's heavier than me and is just as big as my TV (see picture below in 1 of my older entries), a relic from the stone age!

And I just found out they can't retrieve my files anymore... I feel like I just lost my best friend... :(

posted by moan @ 3:13 PM 1 Comments

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Senti about school

I miss college. There was just something so carefree about being in the Ateneo. I don't even remember working or studying hard, everything just came fun and easy. I came away with so much in those 4 years... not least of which are a degree, funny bittersweet memories and lifelong friends.

Once in a while, I start to reminisce about "the good old days", lately more than most. How much simpler life was back then! I think the hardest decisions to make were what teachers to take, when to cut class and how to get home after a 9pm Accounting exam.

My cup runneth over with memories...
...of D throwing herself at our 100-year old Botany professor to escape a failing grade (it worked!).
... of 'Abu Dhabi', 'candy-candy cane', 'Silver Lightning' and 'heil Hitler Yam' (sorry Yam!).
... of tong-its and kam-kee in the tambayan, pajamas at D's and sleeping arrangements at Yam's.
... of the liberating feeling of 'free' cuts spent at Sta. Lucia East watching movies or eating (but never somewhere yellow like Wendy's).
... of discovering Starbucks and sleepless nights over Marketing projects.
... of growing up earlier than I wanted to, with heart-breaking break-ups, disappointing project losses and discovering friends who really weren't.
... of first loves, forever crushes, second loves, first loves a 2nd time and great friends.


College wouldn't have been as fun. I miss you guys.

posted by moan @ 9:10 AM 1 Comments

Senti about school Posted by Hello

posted by moan @ 8:53 AM 1 Comments